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[Tiger the Lion]

Edit 1 Tiger Lion

I was pressing your parachute
with a travel iron,
when the wind took you,
scattering a trail of books,
pizza and a bedroom floor,
but what for?
a debt the size of my first house?
Your prize a zero hour contract,
three years to grow your own beard.

I wonder will your canopy ever fill
enough so you can see
through the fringe flicked pout
to a landing spot,
maybe a tower block tree,
a pupa cocooned, changing inside,
to whatever it want's to be.
You still have the key.

Original
I was pressing your parachute
with a travel iron,
when the wind took you,
scattering a trail of books,
pizza and a bedroom floor,
but what for?
a debt the size of my first house?
Your prize a zero hour contract,
three years in a world of warcraft.

I wonder will your canopy ever fill
enough so you can see
through the fringe of black dye.
A landing spot,
maybe a tree,
a pupa cocooned, changing inside,
to whatever you want to be.
You still have your key.

Hi Keith. I really like the edit. "tower block tree" has some great sounds in it. Plus it can be read 2 ways. And I always love that. What I like most about this poem is that the last line makes me want to go back and reread the first lines. - needless to say, I've read this more than once.