07-20-2014, 09:12 PM
To Leanne and tectak, thank you for your feedback. I am presently working on the revisions and hope to post an updated version later today. tectak, punctuation is my Achilles and something I have to get better at, but I guess I always thought when things were in a list they had to be separated by commas. Turns out when I removed them my auto correct didn't have a nervous breakdown at all. Then I read further in the poem and realized I had comma'd the poor thing to death. Leanne, I adopted almost all of the changes you recommended save one. I couldn't find a word picture to express the sentiment I was trying to express that I liked better than "power to cast a dark spell" so for now until I think of something it will remain, but even when I wrote it I was concerned about the cliche factor...
Qdeathstar, I respect your right to disagree with my premise and would be shocked if every or even many agree with everything we post as it is our life experience that fuel what we write and your life experience informs your conclusions about my piece through different lenses. I'm Okay with that. Thank you for posting!
Qdeathstar, I respect your right to disagree with my premise and would be shocked if every or even many agree with everything we post as it is our life experience that fuel what we write and your life experience informs your conclusions about my piece through different lenses. I'm Okay with that. Thank you for posting!