Mechanized Man (Edit #1)

[Truerenigma]

The anacrusis seems to work fine in L8, plus it rids you of that niggling inversion. You might try something like it in L2 to pick up the line, but anything other than the first foot would probably seem superfluous, and it may not work as well so early in the poem anyway. It seems to work neatly with the more regular meter anyway as the overall idea of the stanza seems to be he /tries/ but / can't/.

L5: your body's mind is problematic and indicative of filler.