07-15-2014, 09:37 AM
Leanne, I agree the last stanza is not quite right. I wanted so badly to rhyme shone with stone that I may have been distracted from writing a stronger ending. Also, see comment to QDS below.
QDS, (and Leanne) I can't be the first ever to talk of a moon shining? Strictly speaking, of course stones do not shine. They only relfect. But we talk about moons or diamonds shining all the time don't we? But when the first 2 comments both have the same concern, I have to give that concern consideration. And I will. Shine was also meant as a compliment to the moon of sorts- like a person who shines in their field.
I hope you giggled with me and not at me.
I also enjoyed your ending proposal.
merc, I almost understand your comment.
Thank you all for taking the time to read and comment. I may actually spend some more time with this. - Paul
QDS, (and Leanne) I can't be the first ever to talk of a moon shining? Strictly speaking, of course stones do not shine. They only relfect. But we talk about moons or diamonds shining all the time don't we? But when the first 2 comments both have the same concern, I have to give that concern consideration. And I will. Shine was also meant as a compliment to the moon of sorts- like a person who shines in their field.
I hope you giggled with me and not at me.
I also enjoyed your ending proposal.
merc, I almost understand your comment.
Thank you all for taking the time to read and comment. I may actually spend some more time with this. - Paul