A hum in the red sky

[Alexearth]

I like the ambiguity. Trouble in paradise. Suburban dystopia is an interesting contrast to typical expectations. I would like a bit more imagery to show how the relationship fell apart, rather than just that it did. Unless it was just boredom?

Broad strokes with a fine tipped brush. Interesting technique. Kinda refreshing in a tell-all post-facebook world. I'm interested in seeing what else you've got.

Thanks al ot for your comment Trueenigma. I was told to add more details in several feedback, but I'm scared to ruin the poem by adding something haha I'll try to work on it.

Alex