07-07-2014, 07:20 PM
fim,
You might've seen me say elsewhere that I only edit poems I like. So let me balance the deluge above with my deeper sentiments.
This is already a good poem, but it's got a great poem in it that's waiting to be released. The emotions you express are squarely put. The technicals are very fixable. The sincerity registers effectively.
What's needed is what my huge-long edit suggests. Cut out and revise everything that's trite, irrelevant, misleading, fluffy, or artificial.
I don't know if this will hit you as a threat or a bargain, but I'll edit every draft you put up
all the best,
crow
You might've seen me say elsewhere that I only edit poems I like. So let me balance the deluge above with my deeper sentiments.
This is already a good poem, but it's got a great poem in it that's waiting to be released. The emotions you express are squarely put. The technicals are very fixable. The sincerity registers effectively.
What's needed is what my huge-long edit suggests. Cut out and revise everything that's trite, irrelevant, misleading, fluffy, or artificial.
I don't know if this will hit you as a threat or a bargain, but I'll edit every draft you put up
all the best,crow