There is a man I always see...

[jbreze]

I'm trying to create short poems that a person can easily memorize so they can meditate on them while searching for their inner meaning. I was hoping to get some feedback on one.

There is a man I always see
who lost his life to eventually.
“If not now, another time.
Life can wait if I’m behind.”
But life’s not ours to bend and twist.
A moment gone is a moment missed.
You can live a life in the blink of an eye.
But not a life’s work in the time you die.
Life cares not what you meant;
It’s there to collect on the life you spent.

Thank you very much for any honest feedback. I will try to do my part to return the favour.

Welcome, Jbreze. We ask that you give feedback to someone else before posting your own work. Just 5 thoughtful comments in the workshops to become a member, then you can post there and get the most thorough critques./mod

Oooohhhh!! I apologize! Of course, will do!