the repetition is often too much of a hammer blow. everything can be said in many different ways, an odd repetition or two in a long poem by all means but in general i'd go for a simile/metaphor meaning a similar thing to push home the central theme. many long poems (and some of the shorter ones) use extended metaphor that point to a common theme. and example outside poetry, murderers always murder in a different place. no two are exactly the same even if we think they are, they can all be given an alternative explanation as to how they happened. the reader still knows it's a bout murder. if you think the repetition you used is okay, then run with it. for me in this instance it takes something away from the poem.
the beatles stuff worked because it was music and the chorus is seen as refrain, the non refrain parts worked because it was put to a melody while being one of the better sets of song writers, most of their music would not pass as good poetry. good music yes, good poetry not so much,
the beatles stuff worked because it was music and the chorus is seen as refrain, the non refrain parts worked because it was put to a melody while being one of the better sets of song writers, most of their music would not pass as good poetry. good music yes, good poetry not so much,
(06-28-2014, 01:57 PM)NobodyNothing Wrote: ^^^ I don't know. Life to me (and I think to most) is a back and forth between simplicity and complexity. Almost every great scientist I've read echoes this thought. Look at the Beatles. Why were they so great? Most of all, it's because they created so many simple melodies that stuck in people's hearts and minds. You can hum such melodies and people will remember them. So many pop artists try and try and try to create just one that will stick in people's minds. They created 70-80.
Yet I don't think people would accuse the Beatles of lacking in complexity in their career as artists.
Maybe that's a poor example...
As an educator, the learning process itself is one of opening oneself to the unknown, fostering that sense of disequilibrium in oneself. Over time, you mature your thought processes, you come to certain realizations, moments of clarity and simplicity. Pretty normal part of the learning process.
Anyway...