Hunger Games

[Keith]

"in case a social worker calls," --> "in case a social worker called,"

A couple of comments, even though it is in Miscellaneous Poetry.

Maybe "Wingtips" instead of "brogues" unless it is intentional to have racial overtones.

Even though I have known situations almost as bad, this one is just extreme enough, to make it seem as though it could not be real; from the description, it seems the children would all have starved of hunger quite some time ago. I think it needs to be believable to be effective.

Dale

Many thanks Dale it is a true tale I wasn't trying to say they only had one bag of chips a week it was more the point that the parents thought it ok to go out drinking all night leaving an eleven year old in charge with what they thought was a treat for Fridays tea. Thanks for the other points I made some quick changes. Best Keith