07-01-2014, 09:06 AM
As this is in mild, I shall keep it such. I can live with most of this, except maybe for the empty butts. If it is empty you are lighting the filter, as they are empty of tobacco. Plus I am not sure if it is the bag or the butts he is lighting, although neither make much sense.
tale-quail seems an extremely forced rhyme to me. Using quail does not seem to relate to "Lear" at all (King Lear, I'm assuming). It seems the only purpose for using "quail". Plus it is phrased ambiguously. He fell into...a silent quail. How does one do that.
Those two things were a bit of a show stopper for me.
Dale
tale-quail seems an extremely forced rhyme to me. Using quail does not seem to relate to "Lear" at all (King Lear, I'm assuming). It seems the only purpose for using "quail". Plus it is phrased ambiguously. He fell into...a silent quail. How does one do that.
Those two things were a bit of a show stopper for me.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.