07-01-2014, 03:47 AM
Tom,
"too real" = surreal, as when one ingests certain types of mushrooms, I'm sure you know what I mean.
Black is also an absolute, but one can say "too black" and it is different from simply "black". When one says "too much", they are saying more than much. In the same way "too real" can mean more than real.
"on the sacred ground of sarcasm" I think will stay, and not "...sacred ground of sanctimony." I think you can have a sacred ground of sarcasm, when it is used to fight despots, or as any resistance towards a power that can harm you. Sanctimony can have no truth in it's purpose by definition. So to me it reads as a contradiction and would only work in a farce, which this is not, although there is much that is facetious.
The rest of your suggestions I think I will appropriate. Thanks for all, Dale.
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ellamycello,
Sorry, it is a typo and was meant to read "revealing". Although yours does have an interesting twist for that one line. I don't think it fits the idea behind the poem. So, I don't think I can change it to that, even for you. However, you certainly have my permission to copy the poem and change it so it reads that way.
xoxoxoxo
Dale
"too real" = surreal, as when one ingests certain types of mushrooms, I'm sure you know what I mean.
Black is also an absolute, but one can say "too black" and it is different from simply "black". When one says "too much", they are saying more than much. In the same way "too real" can mean more than real. "on the sacred ground of sarcasm" I think will stay, and not "...sacred ground of sanctimony." I think you can have a sacred ground of sarcasm, when it is used to fight despots, or as any resistance towards a power that can harm you. Sanctimony can have no truth in it's purpose by definition. So to me it reads as a contradiction and would only work in a farce, which this is not, although there is much that is facetious.
The rest of your suggestions I think I will appropriate. Thanks for all, Dale.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
ellamycello,
Sorry, it is a typo and was meant to read "revealing". Although yours does have an interesting twist for that one line. I don't think it fits the idea behind the poem. So, I don't think I can change it to that, even for you. However, you certainly have my permission to copy the poem and change it so it reads that way.
xoxoxoxo
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.