The Turtle

[tectak]

Owned

I knew him. I knew him well
enough to know that he liked
walking the line of ambiguity
between what was too real, Hard to quantify "real" as it is an absolute. You could leave out the "too" altogether and just have the one line..."between the real and hyperbole."
and hyperbole,
on the sacred ground of sarcasm. Nice thought and it works...but would it work better if it was "...sacred ground of sanctimony." I only ask this because a sanctimonious stance here could almost be sarcastic"
He liked pretending he was mercurial,
or dumb as dirt.
He liked almost reveling his true self, Typo
which was neither mercurial nor dumb. This is probably a duplication of "pretending" and as such is not really worth the words. Only you know
He would bask like a turtle on a rock
in the light of false modesty,
but quickly dive into the deep water
of obfuscation if someone came too close
to his protective shell. Yes to this in its entirety. No nits.Good stuff
On occasion he would drop pearls,
as if by accident,
and turds as if on purpose.
Living on the edge
of this fantasy was his life, period
as he lay in a hammock, Tense shift but subtle....not subtle enough.
"He lay in a hammock unmoving,
on a beach, somewhere
that Hemingway had never gone.
Little brown women brought him sticky rice
and coconut drinks, until the sun faded;
and he basked in the light
of ticki torches, painted by Gaugin." Your poem and it is beautiful anyway.
unmoving,
on a beach somewhere
that Hemingway had never gone,
and little brown women would bring him
sticky rice and coconut drinks,
until the sun would fade
and he would bask in the light
of tiki torches painted by Gauguin. ...and the rest, as they say, is history .


–Erthona


©2014