Carpe Diem Soldier Edit 1 Thanks to all.

[Wjames]

Oh boy, I posted in this section because the feedback is good in this thread.

Our glory’s waving new and old.
It guides in patterned lines
of red and blue they set above
a blank slate page enshrined.

If this were my poem I would probably try to make this opening stanza one sentence. The period at the end of the first line sort of stops me and makes it hard to find the rhythm from the start.

Our idol is this colored flag
that’s scrawled upon but white.
Our blissful bower’s always ripe,
and hid from winter’s bite.

I like the word bower, I had to look it up. I thought this stanza worked.

The noiseless sounding cannon blasts
are soaring from remotes.
Some cheer for mellow David’s sling
through our green colored coats.

I like the first two lines of this stanza a lot; it represents both drone warfare, and the public being fed news of war on their tv. The third line David vs Goliath thing could work, but I don't understand the significance of Green coats (but not a real green coat, that's cruel), so it's kind of lost on me (might just be my own stupidity). It could mean soldiers green camo outfits, but I tend to think of soldiers more in the beige camo of the desert. If it is supposed to represent green army wear, you might want to try and clarify.

We curse the hoary hairs of age
in bed and league with time.
So, hey ho we’ll drink to the day
and miss a later clime.

So, hey ho seems like filler to me, and it doesn't sound particularly good (to me) either. I don't know what is meant by later clime.

We’ll wash the ebbing wars away,
or needle nettles clean,
and it's twenty days off the horse
until nightmares and dreams.
I like the finish, but am unsure of the significance of twenty days.

I get a picture of a soldier in-between tours of duty, or on break while on a tour of duty (for twenty days?) who's become disillusioned by the war, and now just wants to enjoy life. It works for me, but there are some bits and pieces that I have trouble wrapping my head around, or don't sound right. Others will probably give you better feedback; I don't typically crit in serious.