06-27-2014, 02:58 PM
Hi,
The one problem I have is in the last line, how can you be the thing that you are going to shove in? Linguistically it just doesn't make sense, even though I can infer your intent, it is for me at least disruptive to the poem. On the other hand I really enjoyed the second stanza, a very nice play on words. Very sarcaustic (Yeah, it's a made up word satiric+caustic).
Dale
The one problem I have is in the last line, how can you be the thing that you are going to shove in? Linguistically it just doesn't make sense, even though I can infer your intent, it is for me at least disruptive to the poem. On the other hand I really enjoyed the second stanza, a very nice play on words. Very sarcaustic (Yeah, it's a made up word satiric+caustic).
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.