68

[S.M. Bondurant]

--
68

I wanna live in 68
I wanna dress in black
Break your windows
City smells like crack

I love my cigarettes and flags
Love my band
We are the Adolf Hitlers
Dogs, what a dirty sand.

Up until this point, I really dig where this was going. I can start the see the person this is coming from.

I got my little indigo girl
She's writing for the news
She knows everything about
How everybody feels

Every man in city
Watches her tv shows
Television won't
Ever be the same.

The two stanzas that lead up to this point sort of feel like a real departure for me from the person and the city I was starting to imagine with the first two stanzas.

Television shows
Lock that door
Your boyfriend had a hat
Dogs, what a dirty floor.

The first two lines of this stanza start to bring me back, but then the last two seem to fly off into something else again. I believe there has to be a better way to be more clear though on whether your first line is talking about shows on the television or something that is being shown on the television.

--

I hope that makes sense and is helpful at all. This is the first time I've ever critiqued a piece of poetry, so my opinions are simply those of a reader without a background in the subject.