Derailed

[Tiger the Lion]

I read this poem a few times and basically for me it is hard to tell what is going on exactly.

Here is what I got:


You woke up feeling guilty (but maybe not regretting) what you did last night.

Last night you went out to a bar, popular with black people...


I guess chocolate fountain could be a sex move, and since your looking for brown eyed women and booze, idk. I'll go with that.


If I go with that, I assume that the "loosing trains of thoughts" has to do with drinking enough beer to loose your inhibitions enough to participate in your "chocolate fountain"


I'm not getting end....

Thanks QDS. First order of business: I must ditch the chocolate fountain!! Haha. The connotation is not what I was aiming for. I still need a decadent dark food here, but I'll adjust. I think you got most of what was going on except I wanted to show that the speaker lost integrity before the dark women, dark stout and ummmm rich foods. I think I can fix that grammatically. Thanks for your help. - Paul

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Been juggling the bones of this too long.


Derailed

A morning stretch,
through malaise,
hung over,
recounting:

a derailed night,
spent wading,
in deep brown eyes,
bottomless stout
and chocolate fountains.

I lost my train of thought,
at least
three
stops
before that dark decadence.

Somewhere in that dark,
I lost my train of thought.

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Hi Tiger: I like the feeling of malaise that runs throughout the poem; a consistent tone. I ask why you state you lost you train of through before and during dark decadence. Best Loretta

Thanks for reading and commenting Loretta. I absolutely meant BEFORE. So thanks for pointing out my error in the second last line. I'm wondering if I need the last 2 lines at all. - Paul