Portrait of a Lost Poet (edit 2)

[LorettaYoung]

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Hi tectak: thanks for your crits; really helpful; and very much appreciated, love the "trapped in a maze". In S2, age is meant to be in contrast to debonair, ergo "though". Is "With age, through aspirations debonair" a sentence? No...but "With age, though aspirations debonair, the spirit of the Bard awaits him there" ...is.I know what you mean about the last line; then why don't I want to give it up? Because I want to add intrigue? Then say something intriguing. As it is, the question itself is up in the air.

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Hi trueenigma: Thank you for reading and commenting. I found your suggestions to be very helpful; and I think you will see I have added some more theater and mannerism, Cheers Loretta

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tectak: I am thinking a lot about the last two lines; and I see it as a philosophical and psychological question because I came from there: I myself would answer the question thus: that I am here, doing this, is testament that he could pluck the Bard from the lofty air. I could write research papers; but the literary aspect; words and phrases like "maze" and sychopanthic": what a treat of learning. Thanks, really, Loretta

Hi Loretta,
Slightly off message but I think you need a colonoscopy with a view to surgical removal
Best,
tectak

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Hi Loretta,
Slightly off message but I think you need a colonoscopy with a view to surgical removal
Best,
tectak

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Hi tectak: Yes, you are right about that debonair sentence with a comma. I think that the question is up in the air is good; different people will see it different ways. Perhaps you don't think the question is phrased correctly? I edited it again, hope I did a better job; sober, no merry play this time; and I had the colonoscopy. I alway consider thouhtfully your suggestions, Thanks again, really again Loretta