06-22-2014, 11:25 AM
Actually I did a critique on this earlier, I guess I forgot to push the send button. I think I said something to the effect that some disruption was cause in the reading by the meter being too long, or phrases like "thump, thump, thump," not only is the repetition jarring, but it also extends the meter to long. Some word phrases stood out like "ultra aim", it made me think you meant "ulterior aim"
Overall I love the idea embodied by the poem, and in general the way it was portrayed. It reminded me of "Sleepy Hollow" or maybe "Young Goodman Brown", in it's artful use of ambiguity It was just these problematic parts which threw me out of the poem that keep me from enjoying it to the fullest.
Dale
Overall I love the idea embodied by the poem, and in general the way it was portrayed. It reminded me of "Sleepy Hollow" or maybe "Young Goodman Brown", in it's artful use of ambiguity It was just these problematic parts which threw me out of the poem that keep me from enjoying it to the fullest.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.