Barren

[jdelacroix]

The fields, once fercund ("fecund")
shoulder their dusty cloaks of drought.
now they grow hunger. (In hunger)

The loam enticed away
seduced by dancing dust devils (Although I like the verse, I have trouble comprehending it)


Yellow corn and African violets
dress the last sun-bleached page
of a children’s book.
All that’s left

I like the poem because I can relate to the condition the poem suggests (especially with the current weather condition here Freeakingg HooT!!!). However, I noticed a few things that needs to be corrected. In the first verse, the word fercund should be fecund. Then the phrase, "they grow hunger" should be "they grow in hunger. Lastly, I'm not sure with the 2nd verse perhaps the mood and logic are quite opposite to the 1st verse. Is it attempting to evoke that one is easily tempted when starving? I guess that's what I notice for now.

Just a friendly gesture:
I think you intentionally wrote these errors. A keen reader such as yourself must have noticed this. Anyway I hope my critique did some justice. Peace out