Portrait of a Lost Poet (edit 2)

[LorettaYoung]

Maybe start with something like this and avoid the repetition. A five foot line of accentual verse might free you up some, and keep you from writing such phrases as "With charm he seeks to stature win."

He forgets himself, and the truth within him braised,
cast aside for sycophantic praise.
He thrives on flattery and the cheers,
impressing his admirers and his peers.

Dale

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Hi Erthona: I accept that EVERYONE stands on rule in objection to that line and I will change it. I just want to add that that line sounds like rhythm within context to me. However, dale is cooked the right word, or is this humor? The truth within him slow-cooked out of sight!
I understand the rule as concerns prose, but isn't poetry a different language. I'm just trying to learn, thanks Loretta

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Maybe start with something like this and avoid the repetition. A five foot line of accentual verse might free you up some, and keep you from writing such phrases as "With charm he seeks to stature win."

He forgets himself, and the truth within him braised,
cast aside for sycophantic praise.
He thrives on flattery and the cheers,
impressing his admirers and his peers.

Dale

---

Hi Erthona: I accept that EVERYONE stands on rule in objection to that line and I will change it. I just want to add that that line sounds like rhythm within context to me. However, dale is cooked the right word, or is this humor? The truth within him slow-cooked out of sight!
I understand the rule as concerns prose, but isn't poetry a different language. I'm just trying to learn, thanks Loretta

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Dale: would I have to change everything to 5 meters? Loretta
I wrote a quick NEW pracice stanza under the poem trying to expand to meters. Thanks Dale