Uncle Beige

[ChristopherSea]

Swelter, Welcome to the site. I like your poem. I would recommend uncapping the first word of each line. ‘Rests’ is a relatively weak opening verb, something like ‘lounges’ or ‘slouches’ may serve you better. You may want to consider a comma after hats and continue with ‘..igneous relic, retired….’ It looks like you are missing commas after ‘headdresses’ and ‘veins’ as well. ‘Beckoning’ may not be worthy of its own line. You may want to consider a comma after 'bore' and replace the exclamation mark with another comma to connect that old dog to the quotation. Without a pronoun, maybe a comma instead of a period after 'winds' would fare better, so would ‘pees’ or ‘urinates’ to simplify the line. Hopefully, you find some ideas for your next edit of this fun poem in this critique, see what you think./Chris