Swallow
#7
Paul,

"if I don't tenderize it,
to make it food of joy."

"I will stay hunger,
and not thirst." I agree this is a non-sequitur.

The penultimate line should be the last line.

"that nourishment is not palatable,
so I will stay hunger!"



Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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Messages In This Thread
Swallow - by Tiger the Lion - 06-15-2014, 10:38 AM
RE: Swallow - by LorettaYoung - 06-15-2014, 11:32 AM
RE: Swallow - by Tiger the Lion - 06-15-2014, 11:44 AM
RE: Swallow - by QDeathstar - 06-15-2014, 11:48 AM
RE: Swallow - by LorettaYoung - 06-15-2014, 12:13 PM
RE: Swallow - by Tiger the Lion - 06-15-2014, 12:10 PM
RE: Swallow - by Erthona - 06-15-2014, 02:38 PM
RE: Swallow - by Tiger the Lion - 06-15-2014, 10:28 PM
RE: Swallow - by jakesalive86 - 06-16-2014, 12:10 AM
RE: Swallow - by Tiger the Lion - 06-16-2014, 11:04 AM



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