Swallow

[QDeathstar]

Swallow

Tough meat,
but I've learned nothing yet,
if I don't tenderize it,
and make it food for joy.

If I am Solomon enough,
to suffer its taste in my mouth,
and learn to swallow this last bite:

that nourishment is not always palatable,

I will stay hunger,
and not thirst.

Overall, I like what you've done here. But there are two things that jump out as a bit awkward for me.

"And make it food for joy"... I think that joy i a poor word choice, especially when you consider you talk about nourishment despite not being palatable... Im thinking of a word like growth or enrichment... Something besides the base feeling joy.


Secondly, the last stanza, you stay hunger but not thirst? Why are you bringing up thirst. I think it's me missing something, here, though.



Thanks for the read.

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...learn to swallow this last bite: that nourishment is not always palatable, I will stay hunger, and not thirst.

I can't make sense of the the last part of the sentence (after the comma) in relation to the first part.....