What I Know About Alzheimer's

[71degrees]

I’ve always wondered
when father dreamed, -- You might want to play with the line order here When father dreamed/ I've always wondered. Just an option you may want to explore. However, you could also experiment with showing the phrase "wonder." The fact that the speaker is asking questions demonstrates this concept already.

whether he remembered the names
of his grandchildren, whether he ever
left a path and wandered away, -- I think you might be able to replace that "and" with a semicolon. I'm not quite sure though.

yet was able to return,
even in a pouring rain --- Maybe a period here. This seems to be recalling an incident that occurred that may benefit from being explained a little more clearly.


He’s buried now with a playground -- Playground is a pretty good noun, but relatively abstract. What are the exact items in a playground?

beside his cemetery, with a headstone
etched in name and numbers so others -- You could quote the exact phrasing on the headstone.
will remember, even if he couldn’t

His last years were sand, a gift
to be taken away; Alzheimer’s
was how his distance widened,
how the voices and names moved
farther and farther away -- Maybe a comma before and or a line break after the first farther to accentuate the point.

Sometimes, when I watched him,
I wondered whether he was ashamed -- Wondered is good because it adds some unity with the word at the beginning, but it is also repeating a word.
that he had been dreaming at all -- Maybe a period after all

I've left some comments that may be able to help. Here is a semicolon rule that you probably already know that I'll post.

Rule 3. Use a semicolon to separate units of a series when one or more of the units contain commas.

Incorrect: The conference has people who have come from Moscow, Idaho, Springfield, California, Alamo, Tennessee, and other places as well.

Note that with only commas, that sentence is hopeless.

Correct: The conference has people who have come from Moscow, Idaho; Springfield, California; Alamo, Tennessee; and other places as well.


My dealings with this disease were sporadic. I saw glimpses of my Grandfather every few years in an old age home, and he would always yell at his wife. Thanks for posting.

Appreciate the comments about the poem. Don't understand the semi-colon lesson???

I also don't mind playing around with the "wonder" images. That makes sense. But the word is included in statements, not questions. Also, not sure I'm following your comment about "playground"...do you really think the poem would benefit from having playground equipment in the poem? Or were you expecting a specific piece? Just curious...