Go On Sad One - A Child’s tale

[Brownlie]

Go On Sad One - A Child’s tale

Go on sad one,
go on and play.
Go on sad one,
turn night to day.

Seek joy and fun,
please do not stray
show everyone,
your merry way.

Go on sad one,
go on! Now play! -- On a positive note, this not a bad use of an exclamation point.
It’s not for you,
though come what may.

For don’t you know
what is your place?
If pained inside,
still smile on face. -- I'm not so sure about smile on face.


For sacrifice -- The idea of sacrifice is the most fetching aspect of your poem to me, but I don't know how it relates to your larger body of work.
you must endure
for those to pain,
are not inured.

Go on sad one,
while it’s still day,
‘fore darkness falls, -- I'm not so sure about 'fore.

upon your grave.


–Erthona


©2014

I've made some comments, maybe they can help.