Go On Sad One - A Child’s tale

[Erthona]

fogglethorpe,

Thanks for your comments. I would say more Mother Goose, than song lyrics

Yes the two syllable line makes any corrections difficult. I've heard teacher's of younger children say things like "smile on face"

Yes, it is a flaw in the second to last stanza. It needs a "who at the start of the last line. I think I could change that, now that I am thinking about it to:


For sacrifice
you must endure
for those to pain,
who aren't inured.

Yes, I like that, what do you think?

Thanks again,

Dale