Said the Priest to the Elder

[nb]

Hi metalfan91!

I intended this to feel vaguely of a fantasy piece as well and leave unclear as to which instance of colonization I allude to. I felt it better to leave it vague, yet concise rather than specific and overwrought.

I get it.

I like the poem-as-dialogue, between the foreign/conquering priest and the native elder. This could play out in any of a thousand places (the Americas, Polynesia, Australia, etc.) around the world in many, many eras. I like the universal aspect of it.

This

You will flee to the lands of the West

adds a provincial note that doesn't jibe with the universal aspect. Maybe drop the "West" reference. Why flee? Why not just die? So many native Americans, Polynesians & Aborigines died from diseases to which they had no antibodies (measles, smallpox, etc.).

You could tinker with phrasing here & there but I get it. Nicely said.

nb