Cataclysmic
#11
(05-24-2014, 08:45 PM)abu nuwas Wrote:  [i]
(05-22-2014, 09:46 AM)StandingAlone Wrote:  She was a dark angel
in a sea of sparkling light,
Her wings were black a broken,
theirs were perfect white


Smoke didnt work,
and bruises fade.
She desired more pain,
a more permanent thing.

But one scar wouldnt do,
there had to be more,

She fought with her demons,
but lost the war.
I don't think it's so puzzling. First stanza says she's a bit miserable, with everyone else being goody-goodies, doing the right thing, and generally having a great time.

Second stanza, she is self-harming.

Third, does herself in.


I think a little more freshness, a little more appeal to the senses, a little more filling out of the character, and perhaps a little reading of some Beaudelaire, would do the world of good. Welcome! Smile
Thank you so much for understanding!!
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Messages In This Thread
Cataclysmic - by StandingAlone - 05-22-2014, 09:46 AM
RE: Cataclysmic - by rowens - 05-22-2014, 09:55 AM
RE: Cataclysmic - by Tiger the Lion - 05-22-2014, 12:08 PM
RE: Cataclysmic - by Erthona - 05-22-2014, 12:38 PM
RE: Cataclysmic - by StandingAlone - 05-23-2014, 09:48 AM
RE: Cataclysmic - by Todd - 05-23-2014, 10:19 AM
RE: Cataclysmic - by ellajam - 05-24-2014, 12:37 AM
RE: Cataclysmic - by Isis - 05-24-2014, 02:13 PM
RE: Cataclysmic - by abu nuwas - 05-24-2014, 08:45 PM
RE: Cataclysmic - by StandingAlone - 06-12-2014, 11:24 AM
RE: Cataclysmic - by QDeathstar - 05-24-2014, 08:55 PM
RE: Cataclysmic - by wishes1078 - 06-13-2014, 09:52 AM
RE: Cataclysmic - by tectak - 06-13-2014, 07:30 PM
RE: Cataclysmic - by wishes1078 - 06-14-2014, 06:51 AM



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