06-11-2014, 10:53 AM
I think that you are using complex words in a poem that should be more simplistic.
Youre talking about teenage coming of age, but are using words they wouldn't.
The last four lines come off a bit awkward as well, i mean, i know what you are trying to say.... But there are too few words, then too many.
The middle of the poem is the strongest part, i think.
Youre talking about teenage coming of age, but are using words they wouldn't.
The last four lines come off a bit awkward as well, i mean, i know what you are trying to say.... But there are too few words, then too many.
The middle of the poem is the strongest part, i think.