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Cicada summer - final edit
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06-11-2014, 10:29 AM
Great read. I enjoyed this very much and couldn't find much to tweak that wasn't just my own preference. "glassy red pinhead eyes" might be too many adjectives without a comma or an "and" in there somewhere.
I especially liked "unoiled machine", and how all the natural imagery quickly turned mechanical and tense. Paul |
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Cicada summer - final edit - by just mercedes - 06-11-2014, 08:12 AM
RE: Cicada summer - by Tiger the Lion - 06-11-2014, 10:29 AM
RE: Cicada summer - by just mercedes - 06-11-2014, 10:44 AM
RE: Cicada summer - by Erthona - 06-11-2014, 01:47 PM
RE: Cicada summer - by Brownlie - 06-11-2014, 02:22 PM
RE: Cicada summer - by just mercedes - 06-12-2014, 10:48 AM
RE: Cicada summer - edit #2 - by just mercedes - 03-17-2015, 01:41 PM
RE: Cicada summer - edit #2 - by billy - 03-17-2015, 05:43 PM
RE: Cicada summer - edit #2 - by tectak - 03-17-2015, 10:54 PM
RE: Cicada summer - edit #2 - by just mercedes - 03-18-2015, 08:35 AM
RE: Cicada summer - edit #3 - by tectak - 03-18-2015, 08:22 PM
RE: Cicada summer - edit #3 - by just mercedes - 03-19-2015, 04:36 AM
RE: Cicada summer - edit #3 - by onepapa - 03-19-2015, 07:48 AM
RE: Cicada summer - edit #3 - by Leah S. - 03-20-2015, 12:57 AM
RE: Cicada summer - edit #3 - by just mercedes - 08-28-2016, 11:54 AM
RE: Cicada summer - edit #3 - by just mercedes - 05-28-2017, 09:26 AM
RE: Cicada summer - edit #3 - by just mercedes - 06-25-2017, 06:01 PM
RE: Cicada summer - final edit - by ellajam - 06-25-2017, 09:45 PM
RE: Cicada summer - final edit - by nibbed - 06-25-2017, 11:04 PM
RE: Cicada summer - final edit - by CNL - 06-27-2017, 02:14 PM
RE: Cicada summer - final edit - by just mercedes - 06-27-2017, 05:14 PM
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