Good Morning London

[Keith]

This observational poem is refreshing next to the plethora expressive works. I'm a New Yorker lately feeling the bug to travel. I feel as if I've done that now, for a spell. Been to London, look forward to getting back some day. Would you say why you took out the last stanza?
poe

Hi Poe
Happy that you enjoyed the Poem, its a bit wet in the UK at the moment so your better off in NY.

I added a stanza and bumped up the previous end one and I also changed quite a bit, hence why you missed it. I wanted the last stanza to sound rushed as the pace picks up and I felt this was missing previously. Best Keith

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Keith,

I liked this a lot in its original form, and I find this edit quite delightful - and I am a Londoner. There are just two things you might consider:

1 ) ''Rubbish crushed by talking trucks
reverse away a day of waste''.

This appears to make 'rubbish' the subject of 'reverse' which would then need to be 'reverses'. You obviously don't wish to put 'which' after 'trucks' to make grammatical sense. The only possible solution I can think of, would be a dash after trucks, so that it would have the sense of a command 'Reverse away...'

2 ) I recognise all too well the hustle and bustle, the tunnels which do throw out hundreds of passengers/commuters; but where is the city? Where are the constantly changing sky-lines, the Thames, the buses? Are we by Westminster tube, looking at the Houses of Parliament and across to St Thomases? In the heart of the City by the Gherkin? In the shadow of the Shard? Are we in Knightsbridge by the Park, or Harrods? Camden or Hampstead even? Canary Wharf?

I am sure you were aiming at something general -but even so, there is no picture. I am not sure that this comment can be of much help, as I doubt you want to expand it to an epic, and it would need to be a little longer to encompass some more picture-painting stuff. However, if you have doubts about some parts, perhaps this would help.

Hi abu
Thank you for taking the time and such a considered comment, I had missed that the two lines, rubbish/reverse doesn't work and I will try to fix that. I'm not sure this one has the space for the detail required to do London's skyline justice, I guess I was trying to capture more of a feeling than images but I have done a little of both. Having no picture leaves it generic this could be a bad thing when I chose to name the city in the title and I do take note of your comment. It is always the detail that interests me and I have details on all the places you mention, so I will think about a separate poem. Many thanks Keith