06-10-2014, 12:10 AM
I think this could still be streamlined. "silver-tongued" is a bad choice. I think it was better when you used chimed. Worshipers is awkward here. There probably needs to be a line between "breast" and "Atheist" as mist-breast are separated by a line. Just and example, not a suggestion:
The chime of Church bells
murmurs like mist
in hearts of believers;
no entry in the breast
of the Atheist.
Dale
Dale
The chime of Church bells
murmurs like mist
in hearts of believers;
no entry in the breast
of the Atheist.
Dale
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.