06-09-2014, 01:22 PM
"they say they've cried much in he past."
A lot of this is in trochee instead of iambs, and most lines are four foot not five, so you're a little off from IP. Despite that, this still moves evenly, with only a few disruptive bumps here and there. Of course any one who wants to call themselves a poet should learn the major forms. A Shakespearean sonnet has fourteen lines with an xyxy rhyme scheme for the first 12 lines, then a couplet for the last two, all written in iambic pentameter (five feet of iambs), in case you want to give it a try.
On the whole this reads better than anything else I've seen you write. So keep up the work, you seem to be improving.
Dale
A lot of this is in trochee instead of iambs, and most lines are four foot not five, so you're a little off from IP. Despite that, this still moves evenly, with only a few disruptive bumps here and there. Of course any one who wants to call themselves a poet should learn the major forms. A Shakespearean sonnet has fourteen lines with an xyxy rhyme scheme for the first 12 lines, then a couplet for the last two, all written in iambic pentameter (five feet of iambs), in case you want to give it a try.
On the whole this reads better than anything else I've seen you write. So keep up the work, you seem to be improving.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.