It Arrives

[Todd]

Hi, a few comments for you:

I hear the crackle and feel the boom,
light flashes and I can see
your stormy eyes staring seductively.--"staring seductively" is you the writer telling us something rather than conveying it directly through the image. Either find a way to show it in the image or end the line on eyes and let the reader make of it what they will.

The aroma of virga fills the air,
A gust pushes chimes, they surrender.
The storm is coming.

The first drop wets a blade of grass,
erect, ready to accept the warmth
of summer's shower.

Everything feels intense now.
The vivid lightning, thumping thunder, and torrential rain.
The storm has came.--same issue with this entire last strophe. It's pure tell. Find a way to convey intensity in image or action not exposition. Exposition nearly always falls flat.

Just some quick thoughts.

Best,

Todd