Commuting (Edit 1.1)

[Brownlie]

Edit 1 (Brownlie)
Well, thank you for editing I know that can be a pain. Your meter deviates a little, but I think the poem can get away with it. The rhyme scheme makes the poem fun which fits your topic.

The car knows the route with no help from me
which opens my mind to play poetry. -- The meter is a little off here
The rhymes rattle 'round like coins in a monk's cup --The meter is a little off here

while the radio prods me to "Funk it up!"
I shuffle lost stanzas, stray commas and try -- Meter is a little off
to find the right order as exits speed by.
A dance in my seat gets the meter to spark,
the trick's to retrieve it after I park.


Original

The car knows the route with no help from me
which leaves my mind open to play poetry.
The rhymes rattle 'round like coins in a monk's cup
while the radio urges me to "Funk it up!"
I shuffle stubborn stanzas and try
to find the right order as miles fly by.
A dance in my seat gets the meter to spark,
the trick's to retrieve it after I park.

Thanks for posting, I enjoyed reading over it again. I'll have the lovely robot read through your poem you may find it interesting: https://www.yakitome.com/tts?a=T&b=878177&c=YhAd3sRI&d=T