06-06-2014, 07:38 AM
ellaexactly
Thank you
dale the confounded confounder
__________________________________________
Cire Lowrimore
I'm not sure it is worthy of a critique, but you're certainly welcome to try. It's written in iambic free verse with incidental rhyme, and is basically a string of plays on words. The primary word play is on the Latin word bolas, which should properly be spelled as bolus, or bolos, thus the tree trunk, and plank. Bolas is a Spanish word for a device made of two balls tied on the ends of cords and thrown in such a way as to entangle the legs of a calf. The word bolas is also Spanish for balls. so upside down (inverted) wood and/or balls. Thus the keel is the balls of the ship, the mast is the phallus. However the balls are in cold water, and we know what happens to balls in cold water. Thus the final line which is a double entendre "and so the bole shall plank no more". That is the wood/balls of the ship will not become fertile and produce more wood, "Shall plank no more". Well that the basic word play anyway.
Dale
Thank you
dale the confounded confounder
__________________________________________
Cire Lowrimore
I'm not sure it is worthy of a critique, but you're certainly welcome to try. It's written in iambic free verse with incidental rhyme, and is basically a string of plays on words. The primary word play is on the Latin word bolas, which should properly be spelled as bolus, or bolos, thus the tree trunk, and plank. Bolas is a Spanish word for a device made of two balls tied on the ends of cords and thrown in such a way as to entangle the legs of a calf. The word bolas is also Spanish for balls. so upside down (inverted) wood and/or balls. Thus the keel is the balls of the ship, the mast is the phallus. However the balls are in cold water, and we know what happens to balls in cold water. Thus the final line which is a double entendre "and so the bole shall plank no more". That is the wood/balls of the ship will not become fertile and produce more wood, "Shall plank no more". Well that the basic word play anyway.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.