06-05-2014, 03:29 AM
(06-05-2014, 02:40 AM)Reesedog914 Wrote: Words can’t express how much I want to protect you from deathPunctuate to clarity. Stop capitalising every line. Make sure that you use the words you need (throat instead of esophagus, populace instead of populous. Not wrong, just dodgy) and don't be a rhyme-whore.
Take the sharp edge of the blade and press it to my neck
The shadows haunting, every corner every turn
And turns to ash as the cigarette burns
It’s like a paradox because I’m trying to change the inevitable
A pursuit that changes everything pleasurable
We all have a rough life and go through things
What are you gonna do?
Let the dead pass with respect
As the torch gets passed onto you, what you gonna do?
Just respect what they hold dear, it’s so clear
That we are here
To help one another
Be an energy and not a draining enemy
Because a fools ashes are swallowed by society
The truth is out and I think
“we are gonna die”
That’s okay—don’t have a choice anyway
I hope my loved ones go out easy
And that they find a way to be prepared
And not like me—I sit around scared
Scared for them scared for me
Scared because life’s a tragedy
And the death spreads like pollen being passed by honeybees
Our foolish pleasures, an endeavor just to miss life’s treasures
We all have a rough life and go through things
What are you gonna do?
Sometimes it’s me and sometimes it’s you
That gets—bluer than blue
But if you lean on me and I, lean on you
Then maybe somehow we can push each other through
And I know that this world is filled with hate and sickness
The sludge gets caught in my esophagus
But there’s room to prevail, we could make an exodus
Help each other live more freely, by helping those who are next to us
And we can all laugh and point out the drought
of the lack of love among the greater populous
Words can’t express how much I want to protect you from death
But we know what’s next and death is just the next step
Until then I’ll cherish you like you cherish me
When you bleed I bleed
Our love started from just a seed
We all have a rough life and go through things
Until death rings I bring my love
Apart from that, well done and keep at it. Welcome to reality.
Best,
tectak

