Female Exploitation…a tale for today(edit 0.00002, blake,brownlie)

[tectak]

I like this poem for the content and the freshness. Both the idea of porn being an exploitation of men and the casual third person, lust- less treatment of a sexual theme are real highlights.

I particularly enjoyed the rhyming questions that start the stanzas, and i wish that they had been used throughout. However, the first stanza is flimsy. It introduces the subject with too many abstractions, such as the generic "this" and " thoughts", which may reference to anything.

"A working night a week will keep
the other wolves from other doors. "

These lines are confusing. Perhaps she is good enough at her job to prevent other ladies of fortune from cashing in?

I also noted, after several reads, that the poem is a little jarring rather than fluid. This may be due to the weak first word of most lines composed oF, conjunction s and articles.

Hi KOH,
and thank you for your observations.
I cannot defend myself from your critique and would not anyway so in the fulness of time you should expect some changes.
The "other wolves" are the commonly described variety which are kept from other doors (hers and those like her) by having available sufficient cash.( That will keep the wolves from the door).I don't do complicated. I do hope that your note that the poem was jarring was meant as a compliment
Best,
tectak