06-04-2014, 11:48 PM
I was confused. The juxtaposition of the Church and Atheism can make for an interesting poem, but I have no idea what you're going for with this. "And weights, as leaves on the breast Of an atheist." means literally nothing to me. More explanation for what you're trying to convey could make this so much better.
I write what I see. Write to make it right, don't like where I be. I'd like to make it like the sights on TV. Quite the great life, so nice and easy.