06-04-2014, 11:44 PM
I like this. Makes me think of a prisoner accepting his fate on death row.
Describing the air as "Wet. Cool. Still" really sets the scene. A quiet, cool morning. Sets the rest of the poem up nicely.
"Grasp steel" also is a nice way of showing the last moments of hope for your narrator before they accept their fate.
This isn't the type of poem I typically care for, but your word choice is spot on and you tell a good story. Nice work.
Describing the air as "Wet. Cool. Still" really sets the scene. A quiet, cool morning. Sets the rest of the poem up nicely.
"Grasp steel" also is a nice way of showing the last moments of hope for your narrator before they accept their fate.
This isn't the type of poem I typically care for, but your word choice is spot on and you tell a good story. Nice work.
I write what I see. Write to make it right, don't like where I be. I'd like to make it like the sights on TV. Quite the great life, so nice and easy.