06-04-2014, 11:42 PM
I like this poem for the content and the freshness. Both the idea of porn being an exploitation of men and the casual third person, lust- less treatment of a sexual theme are real highlights.
I particularly enjoyed the rhyming questions that start the stanzas, and i wish that they had been used throughout. However, the first stanza is flimsy. It introduces the subject with too many abstractions, such as the generic "this" and " thoughts", which may reference to anything.
"A working night a week will keep
the other wolves from other doors. "
These lines are confusing. Perhaps she is good enough at her job to prevent other ladies of fortune from cashing in?
I also noted, after several reads, that the poem is a little jarring rather than fluid. This may be due to the weak first word of most lines composed oF, conjunction s and articles.
I particularly enjoyed the rhyming questions that start the stanzas, and i wish that they had been used throughout. However, the first stanza is flimsy. It introduces the subject with too many abstractions, such as the generic "this" and " thoughts", which may reference to anything.
"A working night a week will keep
the other wolves from other doors. "
These lines are confusing. Perhaps she is good enough at her job to prevent other ladies of fortune from cashing in?
I also noted, after several reads, that the poem is a little jarring rather than fluid. This may be due to the weak first word of most lines composed oF, conjunction s and articles.
*Warning: blatant tomfoolery above this line