Half Empty

[ellajam]

Half Empty

I find myself putting away
these things that once were yours
because they remind me of you; then
I find I have brought them out again
because they remind me of you.
Opposites flowing from the same wellspring;
I am crucified between longing and despair.
I hold and caress your old photos & letters,
and smooth a cutting of your soft hair.
All more precious to me than gold,
for nothing more of you will be mined.
If scarcity sets the value of a thing,
I am the owner of a great treasure house,
yet, of you I have only these things.
A beggar’s portion left to hold
the shattered, scattered, pieces of my soul.


–Erthona


©2010-2014

Hi, Dale

I'm with you until "I am crucified between longing and despair." I have no problem with crucified, it's between that bothers me. Longing and despair stroll hand in hand here, if the cross is made from longing and despair the narrator is hanging from them bleeding, not between them. I think it may be that longing is not the exact word you want.

My other problem is "the shattered, scattered, pieces of my soul." Aside from feeling like I've read that line fifty times before, how is a soul scattered? It is at this very moment being tormented within his body. He walks around with it every day. This tender poem deserves better.

JMHO
Opinion based on ceding the narrator has a soul.