06-04-2014, 06:06 PM
I think you have got this. The image is very strong. Line 3 is beautiful, and adds a fine depth to the piece.
The only word that gave me pause for thought was "gored" I could not think what it was that the fox encountered beneath the trees ( I assume this encounter was in a wood because of the "patterned leaves") that may have the "tools" to gore it. There are parts of this country though (England) where we do have wild boar, so that is where the encounter could have taken place. I have to consider the part of the world where the hunting was being done. (do you live in America,? Canada.?)
You could dispense with the comma after fox.
I like to think that looking up, the sun could be "patterned" with leaves too.
I enjoyed this immensely....JG
The only word that gave me pause for thought was "gored" I could not think what it was that the fox encountered beneath the trees ( I assume this encounter was in a wood because of the "patterned leaves") that may have the "tools" to gore it. There are parts of this country though (England) where we do have wild boar, so that is where the encounter could have taken place. I have to consider the part of the world where the hunting was being done. (do you live in America,? Canada.?)
You could dispense with the comma after fox.
I like to think that looking up, the sun could be "patterned" with leaves too.
I enjoyed this immensely....JG