Untitled

[tectak]

Never knew never known
a moments introspection
speak into a reflection
this insanity is yours to own.

You didn't say you weren't alright
Nothing left to do
words hung out and used
You shoved me 6 feet under too

The worlds stripped
sinking bereft
bare feet shuffle blindly
walk a mile in a crypt

Sink into the mire
ashes ashes we all fall down
hand in hand
I became the liar

Your Life's a hypnotizing blaze
fire burns through my veins
I am the torch
lighting the flame.

Well, I am not surprised it is untitled as it seems that neither you nor I have any idea what it is about.
A critical line by line is not suitable in this forum suffice to say it would be to your advantage to go through it line by line yourself and begin by punctuating to clarity...you know, make complete sentences, that sort of thing. Whilst engaged in this cerebrally satisfying exercise you will stumble across areas of confusion which you may not have spotted should you not have read through the piece before.
You didn't say you hadn't not failed to not read it through so I assume that you hadn't not done so or you wouldn't have said. Is that not clear? Sorry. Look out for double negatives.
"Blind Feet" would be a good title....or " I am the God of Hell-Fire"...no...sorry...that's been taken by Arthur Brown....remove cliche's.
nothing left to do
words hung out
6 (sic) feet under
walk a mile
sink into mire
hand in hand
burns through my veins.

OK? Now, seriously, make sure of your intent. You will never write well without understanding what you are trying to say...if you don't know what chance have I. There are those who will say just write as the words come.Fine. If that is the kind of advice that appeals to you go to bed happy.
I offer this.

Untitled

Words like carpets tacked against
the stairs fly by the corded rope
that binds us to the land's
corpuscular creations
to sting and ring out christmas
when you cry.

See. It's easy; but it is still rubbish.
Best,
tectak