06-03-2014, 02:38 PM
[quote='benno_422' pid='163850' dateline='1399553689']
Pipe Dream:
Very cool, surreal and almost musical.
However, I get the sense that you intentionally avoided using punctuation in hopes that the line breaks and intense imagery would imply it for you. While the absence of punctuation allows me to more easily imagine Christopher Walken reciting your poem, it also forces me as a reader to fill in parts that should already be there. I'm all for avoiding clutter, but in the case of this poem, you may find that your dramatic word choices come to life once aptly punctuated.
Pipe Dream:
Very cool, surreal and almost musical.
However, I get the sense that you intentionally avoided using punctuation in hopes that the line breaks and intense imagery would imply it for you. While the absence of punctuation allows me to more easily imagine Christopher Walken reciting your poem, it also forces me as a reader to fill in parts that should already be there. I'm all for avoiding clutter, but in the case of this poem, you may find that your dramatic word choices come to life once aptly punctuated.