06-03-2014, 11:12 AM
Hi - good to meet you. I agree, I think you need to edit your poem - for example, lines 7/8 contain repetition of a phrase.
Your poem reads like a stream of thought. It could be pared back a lot. If I had to rate your poem I'd probably say Okay, but it does need more work.
Your poem reads like a stream of thought. It could be pared back a lot. If I had to rate your poem I'd probably say Okay, but it does need more work.