06-03-2014, 10:48 AM
I really like the line about the hair. It shows a certain longing that most keepsakes never could. Anyone can keep pictures or letters, but keeping "a cutting of your soft hair" shows a true love and dedication. Beautifully written.
I agree about taking out house as well. Unless you need it stylistically, I personally thought it read better by ending the line at "treasure"
I agree about taking out house as well. Unless you need it stylistically, I personally thought it read better by ending the line at "treasure"
I write what I see. Write to make it right, don't like where I be. I'd like to make it like the sights on TV. Quite the great life, so nice and easy.