06-01-2014, 10:48 PM
(05-30-2014, 09:21 PM)Qdeathstar Wrote: Dear My Love,
I wrote these words to fill a hole within your soul;
so alone now if truth be told.
Today it always seems your caress is so cold.
Careful now you've just slept,
slightly scary now I haven't wept.
We always said it would last forever,
frightening how slightly things seem to sever.
See your eyes are pale and grey,
gravely it seems you've slipped away.
Awkward to see you limb by limb,
loosely I remember removing them.
Though you'll fit nicely I'm quite sure,
shivering below my freezer's door,
do not knock is all I implore,
or finger by finger I'll settle the score.
Hi Q:Love lost and anger; It's not easy to know the "hole" in another person's soul
and L2 seems forced in. L3: "today it always": I think it should be either one; it it today or always. L4-5; what is the significance and relationship between the two. L7 "slightly" I think you could mean easily or quickly; things severed are not "slight". Eyes "pale and grey" do you mean distant. L9-11 I don't understand. I see you effort here; but find choice of words making things unclear. Best, Loretta