Ants -- First post!

[Isis]

Like some of the other people commenting, I really like individual moments of this poem a lot. I think the poem does a good job of getting me to see particular moments or ideas in a fresh way. But at the same time I'm having difficulty putting it all together. I think the poem is pretty associative by nature, like maybe we're supposed to imagine for ourselves how all the different parts go together, how the glimmers of narrative and memory add up to the idea at the end of the poem, or how the parts of the poem add up to a feeling that's more than the sum of its parts. But at the same time I have lots of questions. Even though the poem seems like it's supposed to be associative on the whole, individual parts hint at a narrative. So I keep wondering what the story is even as the poem steers me in different directions or shows me a different, non-narrative idea.

The part that seems most like it could be narrative, but then isn't, is the beginning. I'm talking about these lines:

She said she tried to move but the frost on the window wouldn't let her.
One by one they stormed through like nutcrackers made of silly ideas,
of
Are you sures and of
I don't know about thats
and of
That's the best I can do, sirs,
I swear I trieds.
click click click
They made rude noises on the floor
recently tiled
It's nice, isn't it?
I swore I wouldn't tell.

The first few lines suggest that even though I don't know what's happening now, the poem might open up slowly, revealed through the silly ideas of "they", through the sort-of dialogue, or through some kind of description or metaphor to come. I don't know who "she" is at the beginning, or who the people storming through are. But I'd like to find out! My guess is that "she" is someone the speaker is responsible for or related to, like a mother or grandmother. And I'm also guessing that "they" are doctors, or other relatives, addressing the speaker, telling the speaker how they can't make the first figure move or see that there is no frost on the window. This seems to be the most narrative part of the poem because it's talking about other people. The rest of the poem is more about the memories and emotions of the speaker. But this is all "she", not me; it's got other people's points of view and dialogue. That suggests a story beyond the thoughts, impressions, and feelings of the speaker. Is this a story you want readers to be able to glean from the poem? or do you want us to try and imagine what's going on? Or is that tangential to the feelings shown at the end of the poem?

I'm also trying to figure out how that links up with the last 2/3 of the poem, which feel more lyric to me, the link between the hinted story at the beginning and "I felt the wind slap my face" - is that in the speaker telling us this story? Or in something else? I love that description though, of the wind, the warm fingertips, the crush. That feels real to me and is easy to imagine but surprising at the same time.

I also like the ants images at the end of the poem, but I have a hard time connecting previous ideas to it a little: are the days getting spilled and ant-attacked like grape jelly? I imagine that the end is referring to memories, but maybe I'm not interpreting this the way you intended it.

I hope this helps. If you want to discuss further, let me know … I hope my comments aren't too confusing!