05-31-2014, 09:24 PM
(05-31-2014, 09:03 PM)Brownlie Wrote:I always welcome critique wherever I post, feel free. I used up a good portion of a traffic jam trying to rhyme Funk it up.(05-31-2014, 08:44 PM)ellajam Wrote: The car knows the route with no help from meThat's pretty good. I can critique it if you move it, but that is my cursory opinion. For now I'm going to sleep.
which leaves my mind open to play poetry.
The rhymes rattle 'round like coins in a monk's cup
while the radio urges me to "Funk it up!"
I shuffle stubborn stanzas and try
to find the right order as miles fly by.
A dance in my seat gets the meter to spark,
the trick's to retrieve it after I park.

Sweet dreams.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

